4 Reasons to forgive

Much has been said about the virtues of forgiveness, yet many today who needto forgive are unable or unwilling to do so. This is mainly due to the wrongunderstanding of what forgiveness is. Most people, when given a clearerunderstanding of what forgiveness is, become more willing to do so.Here are some good reasons why you should forgive:1. Forgiveness is about YOUMany people are of the opinion that forgiving a perpetrator allows theperpetrator to escape punishment. They think that forgiveness is aboutgiving the perpetrator a second chance at the expense of the injured party.The truth is forgiveness is all about the injured and is for the benefits ofthe injured. The focus of forgiveness is for the injured to finally be ableto let go of the pain that has continued to hurt him or her even long afterthe initial assault. It is to help the injured find peace within so that heor she can move on in life without having to continuously carry the pain ofthe injury.Forgiveness does not mean condoning the act or absolving the perpetrator ofhis or her responsibility for the action. It does not mean that the injuredwill tolerate being inflicted with the same injury again and again. It doesnot mean reconciliation although reconciliation may happen if the injuredwishes.Forgiveness means standing up for your rights and your self worth. It meansdrawing a boundary about what you will accept as OK and what is not OK. Itmeans having the courage to assert your rights and responsibilities.2. Forgiveness is the best revengePeople who have been badly hurt by an intimate person such as a spouse,partner, parent, sibling or close friend sometimes erroneously believe thatby staying in the hurt, they are somehow indirectly punishing theperpetrator. They see it as their way of getting back at the perpetrator.This logic does not hold water because very often the perpetrator does notreally care about you in the first place or else he or she would not havecause the injury. In addition, continue to wallow in the pain only prolongedthe injury long after it has happened. If it was the intention of theperpetrator to hurt you, clinging on to the pain only multiplies his or hersuccess at hurting you.In fact, the best revenge of the injured is to live a good and happy lifeafter the injury. This is the surest way to foil the perpetrator's"success".3. Forgiveness improves your healthStudies have shown that an unforgiving heart suffers increased risk ofstress, anxiety, depression, anger, hatred, jealousy, ill will, sadness andinsomnia. In addition, an unforgiving heart also risks high blood pressure,heart attack, skin eruptions, arthritis, backache, stomach ulcer, migraine,frequent cold and perhaps even risk of malignancy.Genuine forgiveness, on the other hand, can have the opposite effects. Thereis reduced stress, anxiety, depression, anger, hatred, jealousy, ill will,sadness and insomnia as well as a reduction in physical ailments. On top ofthat, studies have also shown that those who are forgiving tend to grow oldwith more peace and satisfaction, and less afraid to face death.So, a forgiving person benefits from improved health in all areas, i.e.physical, emotional, mental and spiritual.4. Forgiveness makes you a better and stronger personAnother myth about forgiveness is that only the weak forgives. The truth isthat only the strong can forgive. That is because forgiveness requires thecourage to truly face the emotional pain and injuries, to embrace them andthen to eventually let them go. This task is so difficult and painful thatmany are not able to face it but it is a necessary initial step towardsforgiveness.So, only the strong can forgive. The good news is that once the injured isable to go through the process of forgiveness, he or she will